Saturday, July 11, 2009

"I am the vine, you are the branches"

Yesterday was my day at Evangel hospital. I guess I should give some background about why I went. Another intern here, Mark, has been interning with me at Back2Back but has been spending the last couple weeks in Evangel watching and occasionally helping as he is in his second year of medical school. For half of my undergrad, I pursued nursing and was close to having all my prerequisites done when my heart tugged for social work (short version of the story). After I finish my social work degree next May, I'm still interested in possibly doing the accelerated nursing program at community college mainly for the ability to take that into any city or country. So Mark asked if I would be able to tag along too for the day, and next thing I know I'm leaving at 7am for a full day at the hospital.


I had toured Evangel a week or so ago very briefly, so I was already slightly familiar with Evangel. We began in the doctor/resident meeting (as they start with every single morning). There are a couple actual doctors but most of them are all residents and chief residents (residents that opted for an extra year, very respectable position). It’s basically an update on the new patients that came in since the last day as well as any mortalities that happened overnight. A good portion of the patients are drawn from RTA’s or road transportation accidents. Since everyone pretty much rides motorcycles everywhere (they are taxis), there are TONS of motorcycle accidents. Lots of broken leg bones from RTA's. Other new patients included those with ovarian problems, cerebral malaria… to mention a few. A couple babies died last night--one of heart failure and another resulting in poorly developed lungs. Today I learned that Nigeria has the highest infant mortality rate (1 in 7 die) and highest maternal mortality (1 in 10 pregnant women die) rate in the world. That’s incredible for me to fathom, as I flashback to my Intro to Soc. class where we were handed packets with information on every single country in the world and their mortality rates, economic status, industrialization, etc. So in the meeting I listened to all 20 or so in the room talk about each case. One woman in particular they spent about 20 minutes brainstorming how in the world she has an ovary in the wrong place in her body. It was really neat for me to see the teamwork and deep patient interest in the hospital.



The first part of the day we went into the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) where four teeny, tiny 3-lb. babies were—each in their own little fish tank-sized incubator with oxygen and IVs. I’ve never seen babies that small before up close, it left me awestruck seeing their short, quick little breaths. It truly is amazing that God is able to sustain such tiny and intricate babies. And it’s equally incredible that they have the ability to be our size one day.


Next we followed a few doctors/residents on their rounds. We went into the maternity ward, where most of the five women who had just been in labor the day before, now had five very healthy babies. "You are welcome" is the resounding phrase heard in the room, encouraging us to enter. One of the residents handed me a bundle just under a day old—sooo precious and amazing. I told all of the women that their babies were very beautiful and it was apparent they were very proud of their babies. The mother to baby bond is so beautiful. I think I’m much more appreciative of the victory that both mother and child are living and healthy. I'm left in awe of the fact that women here go through so much pain in birthing, the aftermath of birthing, and knowingly chance the alarming mortality rate for the sake of life.


There are mostly wards containing 15 or so patients per room at Evangel, and there are a few private and semi-private rooms but are more costly. One patient in a private room we visited was an older woman who had been having chronic diarrhea. Nigeria also has a super low life expectancy, so the fact that she looked well over 80 was in itself amazing. She evidently has cancer in multiple places (can’t remember which) and her family has chosen not to tell her so that she may die in less fear and worry. I hear that it's a common and respectable thing to do to protect the emotional wellness of the elder.


The woman in the next private room I heard had a hysterectomy (I did not go in) and had her uterus was lying in a bedpan beside her—yep, serious. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for “phantom surgeries” to occur where a woman goes to a hospital and is told that she has received a surgery, but instead the doctors just make an incision and stitch it back up and tell them that it’s taken care of. So the uterus in the bedpan is pretty much proof that the operation happened. The woman is also HIV+ so it’s strange to me that her bloody uterus would be just lying next to her in her room.


In one larger room, we visited a couple women whose C-sections were stitched up a day prior. Both women lost their babies during labor but still needed to stay for rountine check-up on the healing. Keep in mind that all wound cleaning, wiping, etc. is done without any anesthetic so a lot of screams and mourns are heard all the while.

An OB/GYN doctor that is here from Fort Collins, Colorado, super sweet guy… walked Mark and I to a ministry called Faith Alive a few blocks over. Faith Alive is a hospital, laboratory, school, and counseling center for HIV+/AIDS victims. Once we arrived we met a few others from their group (all from Colorado) then followed a Nigerian counselor, Simon, to his office for an opportunity to sit-in on any HIV therapy sessions. I was super excited about potential counseling and therapy for the sake of great social work experience, especially because I have been interested in HIV/AIDS awareness since I was a kid.


Simon's open hours are from 9am-4pm and yesterday he had 3 patients… all day. So the odds were stacked up against us at the start. A husband and wife came briefly, they had been both living with HIV for three years and had to come in for a routine CD4 count (amount of T-cells your body still has). Another man also came in for a CD4 count a bit later. He is a first year medical student and just found out that he is HIV+. He comes from a reputable family and travelled 8 hours to Faith Alive just to avoid anyone finding out about it. In order for patients to start counseling at Faith Alive, they have to confide in someone, either a close friend or family, that they are HIV+. So he won’t start until he decides to tell someone. He is afraid that because of his family’s status and the stigma of HIV/AIDS that he will be shunned from his family. Simon said that they have seen over 5,000 patients living with HIV since the start of Faith Alive. The time spent there mainly included Simon answering my million questions about the entire counseling process and their resources provided. He also let me read through the educational information they use to train their staff on HIV/AIDS. The myths about HIV/AIDS are absolutely crazy--it’s not uncommon for many villages to believe that the way to cure the disease is to sleep with a virgin.


Faith Alive’s primary mission is to promote healthy and productive living while having the disease. They discourage finding the source of the disease as all it usually accomplishes is blame shifting, many times blaming the wrong individuals or circumstances. Instead, they promote healthy diets, counseling for coming to terms with the disease, and a variety of vocational training to allow them to be productive members of society (cosmetology, computers, seamstressing, etc.). So after Mark and I had been sitting with Simon for over an hour we decided to head back to Evangel as no patients were coming in for therapy.


We changed into scrubs and went right into surgery. (The operation room is about three feet to the right after walking in the front door, it is literally possible for anyone to enter.) I think my “picture of the day” was probably the first thing that my eyes saw after entering the OR. A 14-year old girl was lying on a table, wide awake, and looking around while a resident and nurse held up her stub of a left leg and were in the middle of suturing the amputated leg—she was under an epidural anesthesia. They were suturing her up and all I wanted to do was hold her hand, but I wasn’t sure if I could touch her, so I instead pulled off my mask and shot her a smile. She returned with a slight grin.

We then went into the room over—there are three connected operating rooms total—where we observed a VVF (vaginal vasicular fistula). The VVF procedure is super common here for one reason or another. The vagina is torn, so the woman had no control of when she urinates as the tear was right before the sphincter (muscle to regulate urine control). It’s just a random drip of urine that comes out through the vagina. (As you can imagine that can cause a lot of problems, in addition to the cultural stigma of always smelling like urine.) I watched with a few other nursing students, as two doctors cut and prodded with many sharp tools—I’ll spare details. Just know that neither I nor Mark, who is in his 2nd year of medical school, could really identify much because it was such a mess. That operation took probably about 3 hours. All the while, the woman was completely awake but under an epidural anesthesia.


I learned that Friday at Evangel is the day for swapping out bandages from wounds/surgeries. Patients grit their teeth and let out agonizing screams as the residents wipe away at their healing sores. The craziest wound I saw was of a man that was robbed and his assailants had shot him with a shotgun through his thigh. It barely missed the fibula bone so he pretty much has a giant hole going through the lower of the thigh. The body is absolutely amazing in regards to how quickly it begins healing itself. The middle part of his leg was already healing quite rapidly and the hole had turned into two potholes instead.


Another surgery we watched was the removal of a lipoma (fatty tumor) just bigger than a half dollar above the patient’s eyebrow. He was given a local anesthetic, but was of course awake during the entire thing. The entire time I was praying that the man did not understand English because of the conversation that the residents were having among us and each other. “Do it how?” “Like that?” “Oops, sorry” At one point they asked Mark if he wanted to try suturing his wound closed after the lipoma was removed. “Do you want to try?” “Uh, no, I’d rather not.” “You’re right, you should probably practice on an arm or leg or something before practicing on the head.” At first glance it would appear that the surgery was reckless and archaic, but I am understanding that trial and error is moreso the approach to medicinal learning in a third-world country rather the luxury of extensive training with cadavers in the States. The guy took the entire operation like a champ, though you could definitely tell when the anesthesia was wearing off.

One thing that really took me by surprise was the fact that many of the patients that were going to have surgery next were wheeled into the big surgery room and could witness all of the surgeries from wherever they were sitting or lying. I don't know about you, but I think I would start wheeling myself out of there just out of the anxiety of the anticipation. All of the operations are super cheap though compared to the States… I asked a doctor how much a leg amputation would be and he pulled out his materials and procedure cost list and told me 3,000 Naira which is equal to about $20 right now. Keep in mind they have no social security, insurance, etc. A colonoscopy was about $15/$20. When I told the doctor how much it would be in the States without health insurance he said, “Well, you Americans can afford that price.”

We spent most of the day in surgery, then saw about a dozen women in labor rooms. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see any births. But I did get to see a few sonograms in action: one of a healthy baby, one of a not-so-healthy baby, and one of an empty uterus. I think that covers most of the day. I wanted this to be a thorough update so you could somewhat have an idea of what this day was for me. But unfortunately this has been a very surface levely type of blog entry.


What I realized from the day and what I hope you can realize from reading this is that amidst the tough and seemingly unfair circumstances endured for medical treatment in most parts of the country, God has not lost control and still receives glory in every outcome, whether successful or unsuccessful. It is our job to be good stewards of the time, money, gifts, and relationships that He has given us--that's where the good is found, in our infinite opportunities to be vessels for God's glory.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

free time

What we do in our free time...

  • HIKE!
We spend a lot of time hiking since we are surrounded by so much beauty wherever we go in Nigeria! Pictures below are from a day where we went to a high, flat point in the boulder climbing to do some worship and check out the giant new Back2Back property. First one is of Sarah Guckenberger and I, then an intern Amanda and I, and then Amanda, Tina, and I... sadly the two of them are returning home tomorrow );



  • SWIM!
We've actually only gone swimming all of two times during the last five weeks that we've been here. Because there's really not many pools and the cultural need for modesty, we're all pretty pale as opposed to what you think we would look like after living here. Well, our arms are nice and brown--but that's about it. Pictures below are from a day we spent at a very nice hotel we found in Jos. The first one is of the pool patio, then staff kids Sami Guckenberger and Noah Ramos, and then me with some Guckenbergers, Noah, and Amanda.





  • KILL CHICKENS!
It has been a long talked about aspiration here to kill and cook our own chickens for dinner. The kids had a lot of fun chasing them around the yard before the deed was done the other day. We ended up donating the chickens after the slaughter, but it was definitely a first. I'm really not as adventurous as it may seem... I watched long enough to take a "before" picture with the knife and the chicken, but then hid in my room until it was all over. I tell myself if I really needed to do it to provide, I would have done it.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Shelter Day 1--A First Look

I'm going to start posting the "Shelter" study that all of the groups in Mexico and Nigeria are going through. I'd love to dialogue or hear your thoughts on Psalm 91 as we continue to understand the idea of "dwelling in the shelter of the Most High." Enjoy!




The theme that we are exploring together this year is that of “Shelter.” Now immediately upon reading that word “Shelter,” chances are ideas come to you mind. Let’s start with some questions:
• How would you define the word “Shelter”?
• In what ways do you think God provides you shelter?
• In what ways do you think you provide shelter for others?

Did you know?
• ½ of the world’s population lives on less than $2 a day;
• 26,500-30,000 children die everyday due to poverty;
• Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names;
• In 2005, approximately 1 billion people were living in slum conditions.

Their upcoming week, you are going to have the opportunity to serve in several children’s homes and impoverished neighborhoods around the city of Monterrey or Jos that reflect the reality of these statistics.
Imagine if your family, and everyone you loved, woke up one morning in one of these slums around the world. How would that affect your above definition of God’s shelter?
Oftentimes, we associate God’s shelter with the material provisions He gives us. Yet, all men are created equal, and God provides shelter to all human beings regardless of race, class, or country of origin.
Therefore, how would God define His shelter to us? How does God want us to experience His shelter? Where do we find God’s shelter?
Read Job chapters 1 and 2 (Old Testament, 18th book of the Bible). What was Job’s response when the Lord allowed everything in his life to come crashing down (Job 2:9-10)?
Job understood that true shelter in God is not found in family, possessions, or wealth, and he refused to curse Him when his fortune was reversed. Are we to praise God when things go well and curse Him when they do not? Job found his shelter in the Lord, not in what the Lord provided him.
We oftentimes think that the Lord provides shelter through our families, the houses we live in, and the comfort we are fortunate enough to have. But as Job shows us, true shelter is found by resting in the promises of the Lord.

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:5-6

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 28:11

God gives His promises to all people, that if we find shelter in Him, He will give us rest. God provides the same shelter to the 1 billion people living in slum villages as he does to you and me. Christ came to earth to sacrifice for all people. Everyone, regardless of wealth, race, or country of residence can find comfort and rest in His promises.



Reflection Questions:
How can you show this kind of Shelter as you serve those financially less fortunate than you?

How have we been called to provide shelter to others (Matthew 25:31-46)?

How does the Bible describe pure religion (James 1:27)?

When you visit the children’s homes and impoverished neighborhoods this week, how can you provide shelter and fulfill the verses above?

How can you allow God to provide more shelter in your own life?

Assignment:
Rethink the first three questions asked at the top of the beginning of today’s study. How have your answers changed?

Read through the rest of Job throughout the week and reflect on the idea of God’s shelter.

Remember, you are not here to save, but to serve. Reflect and journal on the promises of God, knowing that as you serve, you will in fact gain a better understanding of what it means to rest in the shelter of the Lord.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

snaps

"Snap me! Snap me!" "Auntie Sara, will you snap us?" Nigerians call pictures "snaps." Here's a collection of a bunch that I've taken over the last couple weeks at the children's homes and at the Kisayhip village. I will try to be more regular about adding pictures! Enjoy and breathe in Nigeria!


"Preach the gospel at all times, if necessary use words."


Big sister at 7 years old carries around her younger brother all day at the Kisayhip village.


Two children that I adore at CLAPAI children's home, holding on tight!


The staff and intern women of Back2Back Nigeria for summer 2009.


Two gorgeous siblings at the Kisayhip village.


Andrew and Sheena from our first group from the states, with a couple kids from the Kisayhip village.

This is probably my favorite picture that I've taken here as it's such a typical Nigerian woman with baby on back, head-to-toe in the beautiful Nigerian tapestries.


The staff children walking with some kids at the Kisayhip village.


I'm pretty sure we were the first white people that these kids at the village have seen and also, the first camera.


Pretty girl throwing up the peace sign in the Kisayhip village.


One of the staff women and I at the OLA orphanage.


At our first outreach and meeting of the children of the Kisayhip village.


The Oasis home--future home of the CLAPAI children's home--from the top of the boulders on the new Back2Back property.


Marybeth from our first group from the states thoroughly intriguing the kids.


Marybeth with more of the Kisayhip kids.


In front of the Oasis home with my girl Maryam, one of the girls from the surrounding village.


Just under 2 mos. old and found in a gutter, Mary Margaret is one of the new additions to the OLA orphanage.


Lois, another kid that lives in the village.


Patiently waiting in line for suckers being handed out.


So full of life in the village.


Some women that we shared food and prayer with in the Kisayhip village.


Playing with the camera in the village.


More girls from the village.


"Bah-ture-ay!" or "Look! A white person!"


More kids at the village.


At the boulders overlooking the new Back2Back property with a village kid.


Cute kids at the village.


Fumi, one of the children living at the OLA orphanage.


Dancers from our celebration night with the CLAPAI kids.


One of the traditional African dancers at our celebration night.


Cute kid in the village.


Another adorable face in the village.


Amidst the celebration night dancing with one of the CLAPAI girls.


Staff kid, Caleb, with his first caught lizard.


The day I got to witness 100 children playing with and seeing bubbles for the first time.


Helpful big sister carrying the little one.


In the boulders overlooking the B2B property.


More snaps in the village.


Beautiful Abigail from the village.


Abigail fascinated by the white person hair during our bench building.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

comparisons

Beautiful girl from the Kisayhip village overlooking the new Back2Back property.


It's been interesting trying to adjust since nothing is Americanized. And I mean nothing. Well, we have a Coca-Cola bottling company but that's pretty much it. All the stores are specialized, like you go one place for veggies, another place for napkins, another place for bread, another place for eggs, etc. And since we don't have a clean water well we purify our water daily. Recently, as a 10-person household we just decided that in a couple of days we're going to buy live chickens and kill them and clean them ourselves instead of buying the ready poultry. 10% because it's cheaper, 90% because we want the experience. I'm thinking I'll opt out of the preliminary stages of the process. Life here just takes a lot longer to get things done... and I'm kinda getting used to it.

I feel ridiculous when I think about how much I struggle back home to fit God into a neat little 20-30 minute window that isn't always fulfilled. "I don't have the time" is a lie that I'm constantly fed in the states. Now, even when simple tasks are taking much longer to accomplish and I have a schedule full of internship stuff... time for God is easy, longer, and more in depth. I'm realizing that I have a lot less distractions here. Those things that are easy to overdo like internet and TV, just aren't as accessible.

Last week we visited and outreached in the Kisayhip village. All of the children in the village are super friendly and follow us for miles when we walk around and share prayers/food there. All of the children crave attention and want nothing more than to hold onto your hand. The babies in the village are without pants/diapers/underwear and are taken care of by siblings during the day, who are oftentimes, only maybe 5 or 6 years older than them. The Lord is teaching me that I am so incredibly blessed at home and that there are IMMENSE needs here. I'm convinced that if people were aware of the conditions here, they would be moved to do something.

Some women in at one of the village homes we stopped in.


Two interns, Stephanie and Tina, holding a set of twins in the village.


Playing with the million kids in the village.


Two hungry bellies in the village.


When we were doing the outreaches, we broke up into groups and would then rotate who prayed for each hut we went to. In one hut that we went to we sat inside the dark room and flies were swarming everywhere. About 4 or 5 adult women came in (polygamy is not rare) and 5 or 6 children. It was my turn to pray, and as I was about to pray a little girl that was about five ran in and dove her head into my chest and hugged me while saying some phrase in her language over and over again. Right behind her crawled in a 15-year old girl with flip-flops on her hands as she dragged her body and two shriveled up legs behind her. I think praying in that moment with that crowd of people had one of the greatest impacts on me so far. I'm really excited for the medical missions group to come in mid-July... the need is so great. There are many women with open wounds as they've been hit by the motorcycles when they go into town. (Motorcycles are EVERYWHERE and there are tons of accidents all the time because of all the foot traffic here.)

We are talking a lot about overreacting to situations and needs that just aren't well with our soul. I'm learning that God is in the process of opening our eyes and nudging us in the side when we see this broken world that He has asked us to reach out to. The small nudge that you feel when you see someone living on the streets, hear gossip, or see children begging... is an opportunity to react or ignore it. We're dialoguing a lot here about overreacting to the injustices in the world. I think that God calls us to overreact to what we see wrong with the world to attempt to bring a little bit of heaven to earth. For myself, it's easy to just be lukewarm and partially react or not react at all to those injustices and things that aren't well with my soul. I think the biggest lie that I am fed is that my small reactions are sufficient enough. I think that God does want us to do something, but how much more glorifying to God is it when we react so hugely that all He can do is intercept our actions with His plans. I'm trying to understand what it looks like to overreact so much that God can take my mustard seed volume of faith and proceed to magnify it beyond or comprehension. Not to undermine those hard first steps to simply "react" to an injustice... but I used to look at "overdoing" something to always mean that it's unnecessary or excessive, but what if it can be used for great? What if we (humans) have messed up the world so much that overreactions are just what we need to counteract those injustices? The staff parents have talked about instilling this idea into their children to show them that they CAN change the world that they live in by seeing and living in the world and overreacting to it in a Godly way. I hope my kids can be raised with that same awareness of the fact that they can make a difference. And we don't have to be in a third world country to overreact--we can overreact where we are since we are called to be in mission and reach the people God has placed in our lives.

On Sunday we went to church in the Kisayhip village that we have been doing outreaches in. The African church service was so much fun. All of the Nigerian women were in their head to toe Nigerian dresses and headwraps. A few women played an African drum and a few other make-shift instruments including a couple clay pots, it sounded so cool--I'm going to try to record a few seconds of it next time we go (in a couple weeks). They were incredibly welcoming though and I loved how joyful they were in giving. This village is so poor but they are so faithful in giving back to God. They took offering 4 times during service and every time they would dance on up to the bowls and put in another bill while singing. After the 4th offering, the pastor mentioned that a man with immense need was present and needs some help with money. He hobbled up to the front of the church and just as many people danced on up to the front again putting even more bills in the bowl next to the man. Towards the end of the service the pastor spoke directly to us and said that he was so thankful for our time and the food outreaches and told us that he hoped that we weren't just here for a vacation amount of time and hoped that we would stay here to live because now we realize the great need here.

Last week we also went grocery shopping in the market. Sooooo much different than anything I've ever done before involving purchasing/finding groceries. Picture a flea market that is ginormous and winding and full of hundreds of small shops. But picture that same flea market in a giant mud pit with multitudes of motorcycles, occasional trucks, and lots of foot traffic. The shops are all specialized and usually only sell one or two items and you barter for everything (especially since they give you an initial high price for being white). We would ask for a head of lettuce and if they give you a high price--like 100 Naira. You say, "That lettuce is not up to 100 Naira. Give me your best price." And the bartering continues.


Scenery on the new Back2Back property.


With each passing day, I'm realizing more and more that I'm a privileged white girl. Their norm meat market seems completely unsanitary to me as I observe the neatly stacked piles of miscellaneous meat that are sat out for the public (and flies!) to handle and purchase. Most of the meat I can't even distinguish what animal it came from (I also attribute that to my whiteness). Below the cut up meat were usually a few dead and stiff animals on the shelves below waiting to be cut up. Mmmm... am I making your mouth water yet? (:

We split up into two groups to go shopping. My group of four had vegetables and fruits and the other group had cleaning supplies and paper products. It took us three hours just to get our few things. Firstly, it's hard to find what you're looking for and then once you do find it, the vendor may only have a poor quality product, or only 2 when you need 10, etc. Everyone was very nice and helpful though, we had a few people shake our hands just because they were pleased that we were in their city. And we commonly hear, "You're welcome." They say it when giving you something or inviting you somewhere or just to notify that we are welcome in their city. To which we say "Thank you." Kind of backwards from US culture, but I think this order makes more sense to me now.

With the precious kids, I'm trying to figure out the balance between loving on them with all that I have and being conscious of boundaries with disease spread. Of the 20 children at CLAPAI (see previous post), two of the children are living with HIV/AIDS--but all of them have a relative that is either living with the disease or has died from it. However, no matter how much I try, I cannot begin to communicate to you how amazing these kids are and how big their hearts are. They are just full of so much life, energy, and curiosity! I can't wait to share with you some of their amazing personalities.

There are grades 1-3 for the twenty children that range from age 5 to age 11. Next week, we'll be giving their teachers a week off by teaching. We're spending this week preparing a bug/animal curriculum and trying to incorporate that theme into not just science, but also into their other subjects. I'll be teaching English all next week with another one of the interns for the three grades. Please pray that my teaching abilities will be sufficient for the week! I'm so excited to be able to show you guys what animal/bug week looks like. It will be great!

Yesterday we went on our African safari. It was a four hour drive to get to this large animal reserve. We got in our safari jeeps and saw some cool animals, but didn't spot any elephants, lions, or hippos. I think the highlight for everyone was the hot springs that we swam in afterwards. We swam in this clear, blue lagoon looking water with white sand coating the bottom. Palms and lush bushes lined the edges and a couple trees had bent over the water just enough for us to climb up and jump in.

I will be updating more regularly and adding pictures, I promise! Oh, I also posted a segment of the Shelter bible study that Back2Back is going through this summer--check it out, it's good!

shelter study

Below is taken from one day of our week-long "Shelter" bible study where we are examining Psalm 91 and what it means to "dwell in God's shelter". Enjoy and let me know if you'd like to see me post the rest of the days of the "Shelter" study.

There once was a king who announced a painting contest. He was building a new palace, and he wanted the main entrance hall to be decorated with a large work of art. The king envisioned his kingdom as a peaceful land, so whoever's painting best symbolized peace would win a large cash prize.

Over the next few months, hundreds of paintings arrived at the palace. The king decided on the top two. Before announcing a winner, he hung both paintings in the palace for public viewing.

The first painting was of a majestic lake, so tranquil and still that the lush hills behind it were perfectly mirrored in its reflection., The sky was a brilliant blue with soft, puffy clouds floating above. Wildflowers bursting with color outlined the lake, and a family of deer calmly grazed in a far meadow. All who saw it felt peace and happiness.

The second painting portrayed a tall mountain cliff, rugged and strong. A few small trees grew out of the cracks of the face of the cliff, with gnarled roots clinging for life. A foamy waterfall angrily crashed down the cliff and into the rocky land below. Above, dark ominous clouds loomed, and in the distance lightning flashed. Halfway up the cliff grew a small bush. In its branches, a bird sat in a nest apparently warming her eggs.

After several weeks, the king declared the second painting the winner. Confused and upset, the people asked the king to explain his decision. He said, "Peace is not the absence of conflict. Peace is a stae of mind. Those who experience peace have love in their hearts even when turmoil surrounds them."

Sometimes as Christians who have made the Lord our dwelling, we find ourselves on a scary rocky ledge with a dangerous storm looming overhead. That is the truth--that sometimes those of us that rely on God's promises of shelter and protection and deliverance find ourselves in situation wondering. "Where has my God gone?" "Where is God with His promise of MY shelter?"

We don't like to admit it, but it is true there are certain promises that at times seem to go unanswered. For instance, in Psalm 91 notice some of the things God promises for those of us that claim Him as our shelter:
"Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence."
"A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you."
"If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge, then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent."

But there are many in this world, many people who have truly "Made the Most High" their dwelling, that have had tragedy strike them. At first glance we might say the person whose wife is killed by a drunk driver was not sheltered well by God. Or we might tend to say that the person who has an accident that leaves him paralyzed did not experience the promise that "no harm will befall you." Or what about the family whose home is destroyed by a ferocious hurricane. Might we be inclined to question the promise of God that "no disaster will come near your tent"? This week you've been working and playing with children that might question these promises as well.

Disease, financial woes, loss of loved ones, violent attacks because of their Christian beliefs, etc.--it would be hard to find a Christian that has been untouched by trials in life. For some, these are deal breakers00they have been reason enough to walk away from the faith of their childhood or for others to prevent them from ever accepting the Christian faith in the first place.

God's promises for shelter in these and other verses seem clear. But there are other verses that seem equally clear that we need to take into consideration as well. Conider what Jesus said in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble."

Today there is a teaching (called the Health/Wealth Gospel) that says if you truly walk with the Lord, then God will give you everything you need and He will protect you from every unwanted thing that might make you uncomfortable or that could harm you. This teaching would take the promises of Psalm 91 at face value but would not easily deal with what Jesus said about us having trouble in this world. But we must take every teaching of the Bible into account to form our full understanding of all of its teaching. So how do we mesh these seemingly two contradictory teachings?

Let's face it, our lesson today can be summed up with the familiar yet troubling question. "Why do bad things happen to good people?" At its core, this is about the problem of evil in the world. If God truly does shelter us, then why did my dad lose his job during this economic crisis? If the promises of Psalm 91 are true then why did...? There are any number of ways to finish that question for which there seem to be no easy answers. And at the end of the day, those of us that seek the Lord as our shelter are wondering how God's promises apply in the midst of our questions and doubts.

I am naturally drawn to the challenging side of things. As a pastor I have sought to be faithful to preach and teach the promises of Scripture in the midst of trials and tragedies. So when we began talking about Shelter as the theme for this year and I read Pslm 91, my min naturally went to the people for whom these promises might appear to be empty. I don't find this an easy task, but I am compelled to help each of us wrestle with our questions.

First, I think it is important to remind ourselves that God's promises of shelter apply on the most profound level of eternal things. No matter what happens to us in this life, nothing and no one can snatch us out of God's hands. We are always His and always will be. We have our salvation which assures us protection from the evil one and eternal punishment, and assures us of entry into the presence of the Father of eternal joy. Nothing that happens in this life can hurt us at this level. That is the most profound shelter we can imagine.

Secondly, we must loosen our understanding of Psalm 91 a bit. Our understanding of these promises has to be shaped by the teaching of Jesus in John 16 and vice versa. We can't ignore one for the sake of the other. They are both true and both apply to us as followers of Christ. As we combine these two teachings, our understanding of shelter starts to change.

For instance think about the shelter that God provided for Jonah when he found himself thrown overboard and adrift at sea. The bible says that "God provided a great fish to swallow Jonah." I wonder if Jonah had the promises of Psalm 91 in the back of his mind as he sat in the belly of the big fish. I doubt that was the kind of shelter that came to his mind he studied Psalm 91 and yet can we say God didn't provide shelter for Jonah?

And so maybe shelter isn't so much about the nice house in the suburbs with four bedrooms and three baths. Maybe it isn't so much about NOT knowing what the inside of a hospital looks like. Maybe it has less to do with the avsence of uncomfortable and unwanted things in life but more to do with what the king said about peace in the story at the beginning of today's lesson. It is about something else that God offers in the midst of trouble--His peace, His presence, His joy, hope, faith, etc.

What Jesus said about trouble in John 16:33 is only part of His teaching there. The full verse says, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world." When we are "in" Jesus, we will always have peace no matter how many or how severe our troubles in this world. And this is why some of the 3 billion people in this world that live on $2 a day, or whose homes are crumbling around them, or who have been out of a job for four months or that live in a children's home can still be happy--they can still have peace. It is because their understanding of shelter is not about the absence of trouble, but through the "overcoming" power of Jesus they have found the joy and peace of God's presence in the midst of whatever happens in this world.


Reflection questions:
1. What trial that you have experienced in your life do you most want to talk to God about?
2. What do you think Jesus was referring when he said, "In this world you will have trouble?" How does this make you feel?

Friday, June 5, 2009

arrived

Hey all,
After the 16-hours in the air plus layovers and driving, I can say that being here in Nigeria is so worth it. Also, I'm so excited to finally be able to tell you all of you about what God is doing over here in Jos. Nigeria is gorgeous, below is a picture I snapped during a hike we took.

This country is nothing what I would have imagined Africa to be like. However, I've been told that it's only incredibly lush because we have just entered the rainy season! There are two seasons here--rainy and dry. I had this idea that the temperature here would be extremely hot and intolerable, but because it downpours for 30 minutes or so a day, the weather is like upper 70s and sunny for the rest of the day. There's a picture below of the staff kids playing in the rain, they're out there enjoying every second of our downpours.


This first week we visited the CLAPAI (Child Love And Protection Advocacy Initiative) children's home. All of the children that live there have in some way been impacted by HIV/AIDS, whether their caregivers had/have it or they have it. The children are so sweet and full of life! We'll be working with this children's home very closely all summer and I'm so excited to get to know the 15 children that live there. Below are a couple pictures of the kids at CLAPAI.


I'm interning here with 4 interns--two from Iowa, one from Tennessee, and one from Ohio, and am here with two staff families, the Ramos' and the Guckenbergers. Almost all of us are living cozy under one roof, learning the true meaning behind living in community. Below is a picture with two of the Ramos' sweet boys.


We've visited the Kisayhip village area where the future Back2Back campus will be. This land where Back2Back will be is absolutely beautiful! I'll have to post pictures later. There's something about these giant stacked boulders and lush, rolling hills that is just breathtaking. As for animals... we saw a few monkeys running around on the rocks when we were hiking, there's cute lizards everywhere, and surprisingly, I've only seen one spider and two cockroaches while in Jos.
Later on during the week, we visited the children's home OLA (Our Lady of Apostle), which is an orphanage and hospital staffed by nuns. I think it's amazing that even though kids can have these terrible pasts and endure such hurt, somehow--if you work hard enough, you can still get them to laugh and smile. And personally, for me, that's all I need. If I get a smile, that just fills me up with more energy to continue loving on them and pursuing their heart. I put together a few pictures of Jos, CLAPAI (kids in red), and video of our time at OLA real quick... I'll have that up as soon as the internet stays connected for a solid amount of time. It's been such a blessing to be able to have electricity here so often. Most homes in Jos don't have electricity, so there's not that large of a push to have consistent electricity. We can usually count on it going out at least twice per day here, but it's been phenomenal to be able to stay connected to the world when I can.
Our first group comes on Sunday! They are from Kentucky and will be living with us for a week. I'm excited to see how God uses their time here and how they are impacted during their time in Africa.
I'm sure I left out many things, but know that where we live is super safe, this place is gorgeous, and God is doing incredible things in Jos, Nigeria this summer. Thank you for your prayers and support!


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Thursday, May 28, 2009

two days


Staring at me in my room is one sad, half-packed suitcase. It still hasn't hit me yet that I'm going to be living in Nigeria for the summer. I don't think it's going to hit me until I've been living over there for a couple of weeks. Every once in awhile my body is overwhelmed and consumed by an immense sadness... I'm filled with questions like... what am I doing?? No, honestly... what in the world? I have a loving family, awesome friends, an amazing relationship, and I'm... leaving? Really? Are You sure?

With every tear I remind myself of and cling to God's promises that He'll see me through this trip and do incredible things through Back2Back this summer. I'm not fearful, I just don't want to leave anyone behind. I am constantly told a lie that being around is going to protect my loved ones, and the reality is that it's not. One of my goals and reasons for being on this trip is to deepen the trust in God's provision and protection. He knows what He's doing. Always. It's difficult to flip on the news and listen to the latest bombing in the Middle East, or to stomach the reality of 143 million orphans in the world. But God is in control, and has never lost control. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose," Romans 8:28. I don't know how, but God does--and I'm trying to find peace in the not knowing.

"I the Lord do not change," Malachi 3:6. The same God that parted the Red Sea for Moses, allowed Joshua to crush Jericho, and fed 5,000 hungry mouths with two fish and some bread is the exact same God that is going to hear and respond to both our smallest and greatest prayers today.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

invisible vid

Because there's a social activist in everyone...

Also, if you're looking for a way to donate, buy a $20 bracelet and gift it. 100% goes right back to Uganda where the bracelet came from.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

oh so punny

Friday, October 24, 2008

overplayed

Every once in awhile, a song comes on that you just can't help repeating over and over and over. For me right now, that song is "Samson" by Regina Spektor. I heard it played at an open mic night last nite then went right to download it promptly and have probably listened to it a dozen times since then.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

awestruck moment #83,613

One of the coolest things about God is that He's so faithful to us. He sooo answers our prayers in His time and provides exactly what we need in His time.

God just reminded me of these things yesterday. I think it's funny that He not only answered one of my most concerned prayers yesterday, but He just completely overdid it so that I cannot have any doubt in my mind that it was His workings. Like answered it, went above and beyond, and then rubbed it in my face.

The lyrics to Indescribable by Chris Tomlin come to my head when I write this.

Monday, October 6, 2008

happy happy

My life has been going 100 miles per hour lately and I feel like I always have something to do. It's a really cool feeling to know that I'm not wasting my time, but I'm definitely feeling that I need to be more intentional about taking time out for myself.

Today I heard the best news I've heard in a long time. My uncle and his family that have been living in Kiev, Ukraine for the past 6 years are officially moving back to the United States! It has been up in the air for awhile as he has been seeking the optimal school for his doctorate. He decided 100% on coming to Michigan State and moving into a house about 10 minutes away from mine. I'm crazy about those Ukrainian cousins of mine and they're finally gonna live here!!(There's a picture of me and those blondie cousins playing for one of my profile pictures.)

----------------
Now playing: Secondhand Serenade - Half Alive
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, September 25, 2008

solo en espanol

te he extranado mucho mexico.

estoy tratando de hacer unas de cosas en la cominudad aqui pero no puedo buscar ninguna cosa que comparar.

vida es super bien pero no es la misma.

...

Sunday, September 21, 2008

soundtrack to a revolution

see the world is a place made up of places.. and every place has a history.. and every place's history is reflected in what becomes it's culture.. and culture itself is defined through its people.. and the people; well, they are the future… and the future is now..

so then - looking at it in the same light but from the other side of the room; at this moment in history, we are the people in the places.. and we are the ones defining cultures.. and we are the ones creating history.. and so the question must be asked…. If we are the future; how's it gonna look..??

I don't know about you.. but if our generation is remembered for ipods, myspace, and youtube we missed it.. if history speaks of our generation as self indulgent pioneers of the digital age, reality television and purpose built celebrity we'll have failed.. the world will change by itself.. for better or for worse.. it changes daily.. but who will be the ones to shape it.. and how will it look?

in and of itself revolution is neither good or bad.. revolution represents change.. a shift in culture.. History is marked by revolutions.. social and political.. some have represented victory, freedom and justice, however on the flip-side.. too many have become infamous representations of despair, oppression and injustice.. all it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.. for the church – the hands and feet of Jesus and His plan for the salvation of this big, broken sphere of dirt, water and life we temporarily call home, this has never sounded with more urgency.. it's time for a revolution.. fueled by a dissatisfaction with self-centered living and complacent faith.. driven by a desire for truth, love and justice..

that's what this is all about…
every generation needs a revolution.. and this one needs to look, sound, walk and breathe like love..

it's not a new concept.. it's an eternal concept.. it's the reason we are alive.. it's the fundamental call of what it means to be a follower of Christ..

Love God.. love people.. that's it.. that's the revolution.. revolutionary I know.. but if we understand what that means.. if we get it.. if we establish in our thinking how that looks.. and we start living it.. we will change the world.. it's not so much about the big stuff.. it's just about the stuff.. it's about the people in the places being the answer - in the places.. and together; becoming the answer to the big stuff.. it's about your backyard.. it's about my backyard..

The world has watered love down to slogans and t-shirts.. lollipop pop songs and popcorn munching excursions in visual indulgence... all of which are fine.. but we throw the word around.. we confuse it's definition.. we diminish our understanding of God's command.. love is the quintessential human emotion.. it is the desire of every human being to experience, and in turn express love.. and God himself IS love.. and he desires to be loved.. and who are the carriers of His spirit..?? it's us…

So that's the call.. that's the mission.. that's what this is all about..

A generation expressing their worship; more so expressing their heart for worship in the action of love.. toward God.. and toward the world we live in.. and the people who inhabit it.. it's not about highlighting the darkness.. it's about becoming the light that diminishes the darkness.. it's the gospel.. and it is now.. we're all in this together..

((please note: this is not called 'I heart revolution… we don't love revolution.. we're a part of a revolution fueled by our love for God.. our love for life.. and our love for people.. it's called "the I heart revolution.."))
-Joel Houston

Thursday, August 14, 2008

reckless faith

"I'm a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of His and I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure. I'm done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded. I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power.

My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven. My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my Guide is reliable and my mission is clear.
I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary. I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus. I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He does come for His own, He'll have no problems recognizing me. My colors will be clear!"
-Final note of an African martyr


If you're wanting to read a great book, go buy Reckless Faith by Beth Guckenberger! You can order it from Barnes and Noble, Amazon, or stop in to a Family Christian store. It's such a great testimony from Back2Back Mexico about God's faithfulness down there. Countless more amazing stories of God's provision at Back2Back keep piling up since the book publishing--He really does not stop.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

promises

Wordle took God's promises to His kids and made it pretty.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

ay!

Being back in the U.S. came entirely too quickly. I think I could live in Mexico and be perfectly content. I love being entirely humbled by a language barrier and the slow-paced life in general there. I miss the kids so much.

However, God had Riverview's itinerary in Mexico planned exactly with my needs to see certain kids one more time, I loved that. And experiencing the last week in Mexico with the Riverview group was perfect. Everything was amazing, we had such a great group of people that were constantly leaving me in awe of everything that was happening through them. I love how many people's lives it changed and how lucky I am to be able to see that growth continue back at home.

I was pleasantly surprised two nights ago to be awoken by my sister that had driven from Tennessee to visit. My fourth nephew was born while I was in Mexico and he is now 1 month old as of yesterday. It's been so great taking care of him.

Friday, July 4, 2008

week 4 endings

I had a really good last week as an intern here and spent pretty much the whole week with a high school group from Tennessee. Last night was our last night for all of the June interns to be together. We had been praying for rain all month as there hadn't been any major rainfall since we got here. Halfway during worship last night, it just started POURING! Everyone ran outside the palapa and danced and played in the rain all while still singing the worship songs. Afterwards, all of the interns walked through each of the three new buildings on campus (two new Hope Program houses and a clinic) and prayed and continued with worship in the buildings. It was the best ending for the month beyond what I could have ever imagined. God is good, so good. It has been raining here since last night.

This morning I went to see the interns off to the airport at 6am and then welcomed the July interns a few hours later after some delicious eats with some of the B2B staff and nannies. I have had a cold ever since last night in the rain... so if you could pray for a quick recovery on that so I can go full force for one more week, that would be phenomenal! :) I'm feeling all sorts of mixed emotions as I miss all of the amazing people I just got to spend the last month with but I am oh so stoked for Riverview to be here tomorrow night.

Below are a few pictures from the last week. Enjoy.

The morning of hiking to the natural waterslides... this is what 6am in Monterrey looks like (I'm not up that early too often).


On the hike to the natural waterslides with the Gucks (three kids playing in the background).


Me sliding down one of the natural waterslides.


Alva at one of the pool parties. She's gorgeous and was hoarding all of the water guns :)


Estefani and Dani at La Cadareyta.

Anji and I at La Cadareyta. Hopefully I'll get to see them all again on Sunday!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

week three recap

started week three off at the Cadareyta which I mentioned in an earlier post. i'm pretty sure that's also where Riverview group will go on their first full day here. one of the big projects there was to remove this giant water tank from a giant cement table and then demolish the cement table. they ended up rolling it from the table onto a roof and then finally transport it elsewhere. below is a picture of it rolling off the roof (Indiana-esque).

i think on Monday and Tuesday for Riverview group, we will be headed to Imperio de Amor (IdA--"Empire of Love"). It's a fairly newer property that I have been spending a lot of time at in the last week. here's a couple pictures with some girls over there with Ruby.


on Thursday, we took El Retiro Juvenil (ERJ) to Estanzuela which is a beautiful place to hike. there were some pretty little waterfalls every once in awhile and more butterflies than i've ever seen in my life. below is also a picture of Holland (another intern) and I sitting in front of a thousand foot drop.



last night was our last Interns' Night Out which was pretty bittersweet in itself. a few staff took us to a parent's summer home (their quinta) which was nothing short of gorgeous. full outdoor kitchen, dining room, amazing outdoor pool, tennis court, etc. I only remembered to take a few pictures at night, but they didn't turn out well--so I'll spare you.

so we're now gearing up for our last week here as interns and just finished all of our meetings and cleaning to do before the next group gets here in a half hour to be joined by four more groups throughout the day.

tomorrow is my day off and I was invited to come along with a staff family and some other interns who have the day off to hike to these natural waterslides that are about an hour and a half out. (Leah--this means that I'll probably be online around 3 or 4ish eastern time.)

if you could pray for overcast skies and heavy clouds, that would be amazing. they're needing tons of rain here as the casa hogars (children's homes) are quickly running out of water. we've gotten a couple light mists in the past two weeks, but that's about it.